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i can't leave my baby to go back to work

family and friends cant understand our decision and many have returned to work to fund the lifestyle which they are used to as opposed to needing to for financial reasons or to further their career. Thanks Lorraine - you see, I could handle working 3 hours a week too. Please note that comments are moderated and published according to our submission guidelines. I would add that I cannot imagine being able to cope with the stresses of work and being a Mum too. He currently goes to a childminder and I work part time (22 hours a week). Next, I did a pulse check with the Facebook baby group I was in with women who'd had babies the same month I had my son. I couldn’t wait for it, because it meant that you would finally be here and I would get to spend twelve beautiful weeks, three whole months, getting to know you. Hated all the nurseries I went to see and was constantly crying at the thought of leaving my DD. I loved the kids I taught but never wanted to be a head of department or anything like that. I was 39 when i had my daughter, i was working full time in a well paid job, i did return but i hated it, they wanted me there 5 mornings a week & so after 2 months i resigned - as i intended to anyhow cos i knew i wouldnt be happy missing out on the most important thing to me! I know that I'm very fortunate to have a husband who supports this and earns enough for this to be a genuine choice. One of my biggest plans was to spend time with my future children. Anyway, I have loved, loved, loved every minute of being a SAHM and am so glad I made that decision. The question of going back to work after maternity leave isn’t always an easy one, especially if you’re on the fence. (I think I am a bit worried that I'm hormonal and mad! It costs a lot of money to have a baby. When I asked my wife about whether she feels the same pressure to financially provide, she admitted she did not. We needed my income, and for the most part, I enjoyed my career. Circumstances meant working part-time wasn't an option, but I had a career that provided the best work-life balance I'd ever had. We've really struggled on one wage (We pay child maintenance, run a car, etc) and some months have been so tight we've had to sell things on ebay to keep afloat. For One Year, What Does It Matter If We Break Our Traditions? I planned to be with them as much as I could, perhaps even working only part-time until they were in school. I was devistated to have to go back but i HAD too. And lo and behold it was not so I resigned. X. I too had a professional career which was well paid and I had spent many years building up my reputation and had great status. I found the thought of leaving her to be looked after by someone else extremely traumatic. Some women are happy to go back to work after having a baby. It has now been more than six months since I returned to work, and I realize that not being the stay-at-home mom I thought I might be doesn’t make me a bad mom. Gave up work once i had my DD. ©2018 CBC/Radio-Canada. It's natural! I know I did. If you would like to submit an idea for an article or opinion piece, or have feedback to share, we'd love to hear from you in the comments below or you can send us an email at cbcparents@cbc.ca. I dont know if it makes the child more clingy, mine is a bit shy but i think when they are 3 they go to nursery where they can gain a bit of independence then. I was 39 when i had my daughter, i was working full time in a well paid job, i did return but i hated it, they wanted me there 5 mornings a week & so after 2 months i resigned - as i intended to anyhow cos i knew i wouldnt be happy missing out on the most important thing to me! I had a supportive boss and great colleagues. But then came my maternity leave, and then five long weeks later, came the baby. Join this group For full access & updates! You might feel like a crazy, overprotective lunatic riddled with separation anxiety. If work would give me half a day a week, I would snap it up - DH could do the childcare - but I don't have the sort of job where I could work less than 2 1/2 days a week - and that feels like way too long. But after a few short weeks with our new baby, I dreaded the thought of going back. You can really set the framework and a great foundation for your child. And lo and behold it was not so I resigned. You need to give the correct notice and it may affect any holiday pay you’re due. i went on mat leave almost 2 years ago (dd 20 months) so my registration will lapse this year, its near impossible to get a job espec when i have been out of it for so long and so it looks like i will have to retrain to do something else but like i said dd is more important and losing my mum taught me that all the more. By Sarah Foster Deep down, I worried that my son would connect more with the … It's good to know you don't feel you are missing out on work. I have read your other thread so I know you have been through a difficult time recently. I did enjoy some things about teaching but wouldn't call myself a high flying career woman ever. So, just after my son turned four months old, I reached out to my employer about returning early. I think that it's a lot to do with their nature as well as experiences. Then I miraculously got pregnant again just about the time I would've returned to work. ), Motherhood: My Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Identity Crisis. I wish I was able to stay at home with him until he started school but I just can't. However if you do give up work completely and regret it, will it be so easy to find part time work later? Of course you can modify this for your own circumstances. It’s normal to feel anxiety when going back to work after baby, but preparing yourself will make the transition easier, for you AND baby. If you're staying at home with your baby, you may find it daunting to suddenly have sole responsibility for her all day, every day. I couldnt bare going to work & missing out on anytime with my child. 5 Myths About Returning to Work After Maternity Leave 1. I asked for my hours to be reduced to under 30hrs week and to not have any more than 4 shifts in a row. And get to know you, I have! Good luck with whatever you decide. About the same time as you, when DD was eight months old I started to really freak out about going back. PHOTOGRAPHY BY Lokibaho/Getty Images. Ive sort of been on both sides of the coin. Some women may feel that they can return to work sooner depending on the demands of their job and the amount of support that they have at home. We all have ideas of the kind of parent we are going to be long before we have kids. She is an avid sports fan, was a journalist in a past life and likes to read in her spare time. Do what you think is right chick. Throughout my first pregnancy, I counted the days until maternity leave started, but I always assumed I would return to work. As it happened it was with young children. My eldest is now 4.5 and in reception. I've also heard some hospitals dont allow siblings at scans. Although it's affecting my career, I can't imagine going back full time. We have a lovely time each day we go to different playgroups & find different activitIes. I am dreading it. The truth is that my work is an important part of what makes me a whole person — and that, in turn, makes me a better mother. She's my best friend and everything she says, has learned, does, has come from family.... not some person in a childcare setting. Would you leave your child to work abroad? I talked to my husband first who said he would support whatever I decided. Comments on this story are moderated according to our Submission Guidelines. He also respects and values my role at home, as an accountant working out how much my replacement would cost :O. I already have a little boy who will be two and a half when this baby is born. In fact, I think having some space apart helps me miss him and truly appreciate the time we do have together. For some reason it was harder for me to go back after number 2. I would suggest that you go with your feelings and be a sahm. I wasn’t sure if was making the right decision for myself and my son, or if it was just the postpartum hormones talking. My wages more than cover childcare. When my youngest was 4 we moved house and i couldnt find suitable care for him so I gave up nursing to childmind and be with my son 24/7. The maternity leave I dreamt about while I was pregnant with you. DD is my only child so far and is nearly 11 months old. Fiona that is so sweet I feel similar to you. It is clear you want to do this so even though you like your job you must go with your instincts on this one or you will only be unhappy. I found the thought of leaving her to be looked after by someone else extremely traumatic. :hiya: Thank you for sharing your experience though... giving up work would mean I would have to re-train at some point, but I was just thinking - oh well, then I'll re-train then. I found the thought of leaving her to be looked after by someone else extremely traumatic. We have a lovely time each day we go to different playgroups & find different activitIes. You can find her at @fostersarah on Twitter. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, Fiona that is so sweet I feel similar to you. It’s a good idea to agree with your employer before you go on maternity leave how you’re going to take your holiday. However I did go back and actually I'm glad I did. Hi all, Well after some number crunching it seems there is no way I can afford to go back to work after my mat leave finishes. How did it work out? Tomorrow I go back to work. No. I wish I was able to stay at home with him until he started school but I just can't. Going back to work, whether it is by choice or necessity, is a tough decision for many women. You’ve been on maternity leave for 26 weeks or less You’re entitled to return to the same job after maternity leave if you’ve been away 26 weeks or less. Went back to work when four-month-long paid maternity leave came to end As a toddler he threw tantrums and fits of anger that continued for years … We reserve the right to close comments at any time. i went on mat leave almost 2 years ago (dd 20 months) so my registration will lapse this year, its near impossible to get a job espec when i have been out of it for so long and so it looks like i will have to retrain to do something else but like i said dd is more important and losing my mum taught me that all the more. I had a supportive boss and great colleagues. Maybe I should try and think of something else I could do to fill in. DD2 is almost 8 months, so I am thinking about my return to work. Good luck with your decision x. It's so irrational, just don't know what's wrong with me. My friend has told me about a great daycare that she uses It is a great deal easier to go back to work if you have good quality childcare arranged for your baby. It's better to ease into work. yes I love it, yes Ive been to every play/concert etc at school and I am pleased I haven't had to pay out for someone else to care for him,, BUT he is the least confident of my 3, the biggest worrier and struggles to leave me. Susan - I have chosen to be a sahm and look after DD myself full time. In the end, to appease my OH (who was pretty shocked and none to pleased at the prospect of being main breadwinner) I requested to return part time, two days per week. I couldn't and, by then knew, asking granny wouldn't work and childcare fees would've eaten into my earnings considerably leaving very little clear. We value and respect the views and opinions of our all our contributors on CBC Parents, however these opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CBC. Even when I was pregnant, these were mostly my plans. I have no idea how easy it will be but I will find out when the time comes and deal with it then. I loved the kids I taught but never wanted to be a head of department or anything like that. Some women are happy to go back to work after having a baby. I dropped my baby and I can't get over it. I thought it might be an opportunity to do soemthing completely different -and that that might be good... but it would probably be a big cut in income, as I am quite senior at the moment (I'm an older mum (41) so I've had plenty of time to work my way up). It was going to be good. I did go on to do a five week contract, two days per week but I think I could only manage it because my Mum and OH shared the childcare, I don't think I could have left her with strangers. part time work might just suit you, best of both worlds, a couple of working days and some serious quality time with baby........................and as little one grows you might do more days or give up if its just too much., but you will have tried. I am a mum of 3 and went back to work when all 3 were 5 months old out of financial necessity . However you plan to use your shared parental leave, it's likely that either you or your partner will go back to work at some point during the fourth trimester, leaving the other to care for the baby during the day.This can be a difficult adjustment for both of you. xxx. Thank you for sharing your experience though...  giving up work would mean I would have to re-train at some point, but I was just thinking  - oh well, then I'll re-train then. The childcare dilemma can be extremely stressful, but once you've found a solution that works for your family, it makes life much easier if you're returning to work. It is clear you want to do this so even though you like your job you must go with your instincts on this one or you will only be unhappy. That was not me. That means today was officially the end of my maternity leave. Here is a sample schedule for when you go back to work. Is It Possible to Parent One-Handed? Distressing to think your son is less confident, as I suppose my reasons for thinking of being a SAHM is partially for me (I don't know I can do the leaving bit, hate the hassle of finding appropriate childcare etc), but partly because I sort of assumed it would be better for DD. Your pay and conditions must be the same as or … I'd lost all motivation to keep the pace and wanted to be with my son all the time. I know he could be like this anyway but it just makes me wonder.........................:hmmm: do slightly regret it as soooo miss all the people and the interaction even now yrs on, would have to completely retrain now and start again. ):shock: My mother is getting lonely anyway. I'm going back 3 days per week but have had to drop down a level to do this. I don't think I would have been able to have as much patience and do as good a job with my DD with the stress of work as well. C. Help, I don't want to go back to work and leave my baby… I hated the hassle of organising childcare and felt the house ran smoother on the days I was at home. Nobody was more surprised than me when I ended my maternity leave three months before my year was up and went back to work when my son was nine months old. I am (was) also a teacher. I do three hours a week private tutoring and my Mum looks after DD for that time but I am still in the house as the pupils come to me after they finish school. Home > Community > Birth Month > November 2016 Babies > Help, I don't want to go back to work and leave my baby! My job was interesting and varied and reasonably, tho not stunningly, well paid. sorry im waffling but do whats right for you and your family - i am lucky in that my husbnad fully supports and encourages my decision to stay at home so while tight for us (we are relying on savings at the minute to be honest) we feel overall it was the best. I have a good job (reasonably interesting, professional, very well paid). What really matters is that I love my son and I know he loves me. I don't know if I'll manage to get back into teaching again. I have a good job (reasonably interesting, professional, very well paid). In the end, to appease my OH (who was pretty shocked and none to pleased at the prospect of being main breadwinner) I requested to return part time, two days per week. I did enjoy some things about teaching but wouldn't call myself a high flying career woman ever. She would love to have it. It's good to know you don't feel you are missing out on work. do you tell your child to Hit Back in school. 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I would suggest that you go with your feelings and be a sahm. But I suppose I find the IDEA of giving up work difficult - I have been worrying that I'd lose my identity - people always ask: what do you DO? It isn't an option for everyone but if it is for you then I would say seriously consider it. That's really helpful - thank you for sharing your story. Except, irrational as it sounds - I just can't handle the thought of leaving my baby.. even though I've done it before. Some women are happy to go back to work after having a baby. My OH's wage does not even cover our bills, I am the higher earner. Pseudonyms will no longer be permitted. My employer would probably be happy for me to delay my return till DD is 14 months, and offer part-time of 3 days a week. Of organising childcare and felt the house ran smoother on the fence reasonably interesting, professional, well! 'Ve also heard some hospitals dont allow siblings at scans home, as a part-timer was n't an option but. 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New parents ( and how to reassure my little clients parents when they leave them tell your to! Arguments ) and become a sahm avid sports fan, was a journalist in row... You should know about your job later on if it is n't an option for but... Her with hubby for about 3 hours max, which she i can't leave my baby to go back to work sleeping! Sleeping most of anyway, I am thinking about my return to work after maternity leave I about! Was to spend time with my child he needed me more 'll manage i can't leave my baby to go back to work get back into teaching....

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